The Great Outdoors

Just a quick weekend post: I'm typing this underneath the shade tree in our back yard, where Lauren and I are enjoying the benefits of mobile computing, sitting on our Wal-Mart special lounge chairs with a Citronella candle between us, and drinking moon tea (i.e., sun tea, but without the nasty health issues).

It's been a pretty busy but fun weekend so far: Friday night found us at A&G Restaurant for Greek Night, then after that, over to Wal-Mart for some preliminary shopping for the 4th of July camping trip. Since I only have that day off, we're hoping to spend the evening of July 3rd and the 4th out at Mozingo Lake, camping out and hiking (Lauren's planning to bring the stovetop espresso pot so we can have morning coffee), and ultimately, later that evening we'll be able to view the fireworks.

Later that evening found us heading down to the local Orscheln's farm store for their Midnight Madness sale to keep the kitties in cat kibble. We also had to wait out the rainstorm that started right after we arrived, which we were glad for, as Lauren's garden got a good watering, too.

This morning, we continued our morning distance walks; equipped with camelbacks for water, we walked out of town to Gray's Truckstop and Cafe for a light late-morning lunch (with accompanying nap afterward). Now this sounds pretty tame. However, the walk out to Gray's is 4.5 miles, while the walk back was approximately 4 miles, so we walked a total of 8.5 miles with lunch break (which tends to blow local people's minds, because most people simply drive out there). This marks (for me) the longest sustained walk I've done since driving cattle on the family farm, but it pales besides the walk Lauren did on Friday, as she's now up 10.5 miles, which means she did back to back long walks two days in a row.

Later in the afternoon, we went down to the local John Deere dealership, which was the home site of the local Heart of America tractor cruise. We watched the tractors (most of them 1930s to 1960's era models) return from the cruise, which went out to Clyde (near Conception Junction), and back to Maryville, finally parading around the square and then back up 71 Highway to the dealership; the accompanying BBQ afterward was open to the public, and one of Lauren's coworkers' families was involved in organizing, so of course we went. Besides, the donations from the BBQ and cruise activities go toward Camp Quality, a local summer program for kids undergoing cancer treatments, so it was all for a good cause.

Having grown up with a farming background, it was fun explaining to Lauren some of the "what was whats" (i.e., this is a 3-point hitch, this was the kind(s) of tractors we used to drive, this tractor was made by this company before they got bought out by this company, etc.). However, just because I grew up driving them does not mean that I want to OWN one ... as I pointed out to Lauren, where would we put it???

I suspect tomorrow, apart from church and a minimum of laundry and housecleaning, will involve quite a bit of rest and recuperation from today's walk. A few days ago, I looked at the post from back in January with our New Year's resolutions, and it looks like both of us have gotten around to fulfilling those. Lauren's was to walk an average of 3 miles a day (and she's now doing that, with an average of 5), and mine was to lose 5 pounds (which I've done aplenty, having dropped at least 20 so far).

High School Reunion, Take 2

Lauren and I got back from SE Kansas earlier this afternoon, where we spent an enjoyable day at my reunion, and the following morning.

We actually showed up for part 2 of the reunion, which took place out at the Greenbush Gazebo and was a potluck (apparently, we had one of the few picnic areas that was still available that day, between the various reunions and other activities in the area). All told, roughly 14 classmates, plus their spouses and kids, showed up ... not bad, considering that only 24 people showed up for the dinner and dance the night before, and some of the same people showed up to both events.

Anyhoo, all in all, we had a great time. Lauren got to meet "the gang" that I hung out with in high school. We've all gotten older, some of us the worse for wear, but all in all, everyone's still hanging in there.















Showing Some Class (l-r): Richard Potts, Donna Martin (nee Oplotnik), me, Mark Viets, Micah Joy, John Nepote, Anita Bradshaw (sorry, Anita, can't remember your married name), Cindy Vulgamore (nee Humble), Guy Spieth, Pattie (was Mitchell), Eric Duncan, Cindy (was Kennedy), Dean Davied, and John Vulgamore.















Micah watching Balin, while Guy takes a call from his girlfriend.















The "Gang": Guy, John, Micah, Eric, and me. Lauren remarked that this picture made us look like a "bad rap group". And Guy's taking another call from his girlfriend. Oh well ....

Highlights:

• Eric Duncan showing off his new Lotus sports car.
• Meeting Micah's adopted son, Balin, for the first time.
• John Nepote describing what happened "the night before" at the other half of the reunion.
• John Vulgamore showing off his "hog" ... his pride and joy Harley.
• Anita Bradshaw's husband bringing his classic teal green 1964 Ford Galaxie convertable.
• Catching up with everyone and realizing that, yeah, it's been 20 years, and while some of the old animosities still exist, a lot of that has been left behind.

And for everyone who DIDN'T show up: WHERE WERE YOU????

After the reunion closed out at 2, Lauren and I took a side trip. Since I hadn't been home for any length of time in awhile (despite the brief trip back last summer), Lauren and I stopped off in Brazilton, where we visited the cemetary from my family's old (now gone) Lutheran church in the country to pay respects (especially to my Dad's plot, to see how it was holding up ... after all, it was Father's Day weekend, perversely enough).
















After that, we stopped off to visit with Earl and Iona Bredehoeft, who had been friends of Dad, and we got to take a brief tour of the one-room schoolhouse that the two have been restoring over the years.

Finally, we headed over to Pittsburg for dinner at Chicken Mary's with Micah and Guy, and then we were on our way to Fort Scott, KS, about 22 miles away. With the hotels in Pittsburg booked, and Lauren being a fan of bed and breakfasts, we stayed at the Courtland Hotel and Day Spa.

The Courtland was a former 1906 railroad hotel (that is, it was mostly for the use of railroad staff and employees who were overnighting in Fort Scott and only needed a private bedroom) that has now been converted into an elegant bed and breakfast and day spa.












An outdoor pic of the Courtland, about a block away from the Fort Scott National Historic Site (the old Dragoon fort).















Lobby, Just Off the Front Desk















The Hallway. Note the punched-tin work on the ceiling.















Reading Nook















The Dining Room

All told, we had a great weekend, and with Eric now living in KC, it looks like future meet-ups down there are likely.

High School Reunions

This weekend, barring flash floods or a rainout, we're headed down to Kansas for my 20-year high school reunion. I didn't go to my 5th or my 10th, simply because I didn't want to re-experience high school: namely, the same exclusionary cliques, the same brash arrogance, and above all, the same gang trying to prove they could still hold their beers. I left all of that when I graduated, and didn't want to experience it again.

This time may be different; I'm going because the group I hung out with in high school will all be there:

Micah Joy, the best man at my wedding and longtime friend
Guy Spieth, who although I found his taste in books (the Gor series, anyone?) questionable, is still a decent guy
John Vulgamore, who somehow managed to get married before any of us (to a fellow classmate, no less), and
Eric Duncan, computer whiz and European sports car lover from early on, who now probably makes more money than all of us in the IT field.

We'll have pictures in a later post.

Welcome to Summer

Sorry for the gaps between postings, but it's been a busy couple of weeks: busy because rather than getting a couple of days during the plant shutdown, I actually got to work both weeks (including Saturday, to make up for the holiday on Monday), and I will even get a small bit of overtime thrown in as well. At least I had Memorial Day off, and the weather stayed good enough to grill out a few times.

What I'm currently doing at the plant involves cleaning. Lots of cleaning, in the upper machine bay levels of the plant called the "High Bay", where the raw ingredients for making the insides and outsides of batteries (especially the graphite mix used for the outer casing that surrounds the metal core cannister and the graphite/metallic mix which makes up part of the chemical reaction that allows your Energizer battery to work) are piped, filtered, blended, and then fed into the moulding machines on the ground floor.

Yes, it's graphite. The same stuff that goes into tennis rackets. The same stuff that makes up the inner cores of pencils worldwide. And it sticks to everything. Despite the disposible clean suits we're issued, it leaves one dirty ... so much so that at the end of the work day, the second shower has become another ritual for me. We're hoping that with the various new equipment installs done over the last two weeks, the bay will become a bit less dustier and make my job easier (and perhaps cleaner).

So now it's June here, and it's getting warmer. Fortunately, Woodgie has been able to garden quite a bit and start up her worm farm (in case you hadn't guessed, Woodgie is as much of an organic gardener as possible). The worm farm, we hope, will provide some good ongoing soil treatment for the raised garden beds. Ultimately, it will also provide a source of fishing worms for when Lauren and I are able to get out to Mozingo and go fishing.

Also with summer brings a couple of traveling opportunities: next weekend, Lauren and I will head back to my hometown for my 20 year high school reunion. We'll miss the dinner and dance on Friday night, but Saturday, we'll be heading down for a picnic and meet and greet (which is more my speed than the beer bash on Friday night). Then, the last weekend of the month, we'll be heading back up to Des Moines for an impromptu post-wedding reception that two of my Tai Chi friends are throwing; this will allow everyone up there who didn't get a chance to come to the wedding (or who we couldn't invite, due to the small size of the church), to visit and bring gifts if they want. Following that, the book club gang will do their usual yearly solstice gathering and campout that evening.

And then next month, Woodgie is done with her classes, but after the 4th, which we hope to spend out at Mozingo Lake camping and fishing, the following week, Lauren will be joining several others from our church for a week long mission trip up to a South Dakota Indian reservation at the local Episcopal mission church. Since I'm stuck on a weekly work schedule and have no vacation, we've decided that I'm going to be the one staying home and tending the cats. Eventually, Woodgie will be visiting student interns in a few locations ... most of them are local, but one is down in KC, so a road-trip there may be in order.

And what I'm waiting for at the end of July is the release of this.

All in all, it's going to be a busy summer for both of us.

Rainy Saturday

It's the rainy season again here in Maryville this weekend, making a rainy Memorial Day for us and causing us to cancel plans to go camping out at Mozingo Lake. Instead, Woodgie's been doing some morning gardening between the overnight rains and the mid-morning rains, plus some maintenance (filter cleaning) on the watercourse in the back yard.

After that was done, we headed over to the Galaxy Store, a Mennonite-run bulk and discount grocery out near Wilcox, MO, for some grocery and household item shopping. A big find for us (especially since we're now up to two cats and two kittens in the household), was a large and cheap bulk bag of multi-cat cat food. In the greater scheme of things, that may not mean much, but when you have two cats and two kittens looking up at you trying to decide what YOUR protein value may be, it's a find.

We're hoping that we get a break in the rain this weekend so we can grill outdoors either this evening or tomorrow. EDIT: Given the rumble of thunder off in the distance at 4:30, we're now thinking this will be tomorrow or Monday instead.

Otherwise, it's rest and relaxation for both of us through Monday: we'll be staying in, watching Star Trek Remastered tonight and then some anime later on, and otherwise just staying in and enjoying the break. Hopefully, even with the latest rains, we won't have to pull out those plans we bought off the Internet for an ark ;-).

Seriously, it looks like I'll be working a couple of days during the plant shutdown pulling some overtime, with the possibility of more than a couple of days. I'm hoping that if I can get at least a full week of OT, I'll make enough that the shutdown won't hurt the cash flow that much. And in the meantime, I can continue my job search for a better job.

Plant sale at the Plant House! (Cheshirekitty blog)

Ok, you know what I did this afternoon...herbs were selling for $1.40 a piece at the Plant House here in Maryville (down from $3.99, which as we all know reads as "$4.00), so I bought a few more herbs:

Two Red Rubin basil and two garden basil which are in the rose garden, of all things, in a bench/double planter. They are keeping their companion plant trifetti pepper company. (I'm not sure you can tell this from the picture, but trifettis are variegated plants with hot purple peppers).

Two French tarragon to supplement the scrawny tarragon I rediscovered when digging up and renovating the herb garden. Note to gardeners: Do not buy tarragon seeds expecting good tarragon. French tarragon, the culinary kind, is sterile and can only propagate by cuttings. Any tarragon seeds you buy would be for Russian tarragon, which tastes like, well, a weed.

One "The Best" mint, which replaces a lackluster mint colloquially known as "Alex mint", for the ex-boyfriend who insisted he was growing peppermint from seed.

One garden sage, to keep the purple sage company.

While I was in the herb garden, I found more stray curly mint and chocolate mint and planted them in their respective sunken pots. I am hoping the containment scheme keeps my herb garden from being a free-for-all, with the oregano the clear victor.

Just in -- a severe thunderstorm watch till 8 PM. Guess the new plants will get watered soon!

One More Kitten

And this just in ... on a spur of the moment decision, we've adopted another kitten. A couple of weeks ago on our way back from a neighborhood walk, one of our neighbor's grandkids introduced us to a couple of darling cute kittens. Four weeks old and all females (the local male tomcat had unfortunately found and killed the males of the litter), they were in decent health and had barely been weaned.

Four weeks later, the mom appeared to be having issues nursing and was losing weight, so today, the neighbors relucantly decided to give away the kittens to the neighbors (including us), and take their cat to the vet.

After holding each of them to be sure of which one we wanted, we're (perhaps temporarily, perhaps permanently if the other cats will accept her down the road) now the proud owners of yet another kitten, a Domestic Shorthair (gray tabby and white) that we've named Mimi. If the other cats accept her, then we've gotten another member of the household. If not, then Woodgie thinks that we'll be able to foster Mimi until we can find someone else to take her.

EDIT: After some discussion, the new kitten's name is actually spelled Meme (but pronounced "me-me", as in the name), and of course, she is named for the concept of Internet memes and in particular, the cat macro meme.

Sleepy Sunday

It's a sleepy Sunday here in Maryville. Most of the weekend plans (heading to Bedford on Saturday, etc.) were cancelled as Lauren's still recuperating from laryngitis, so we stayed home from church and vegged out a bit, apart from doing a little bit of chaos control in the living room.

If the weather cooperates (i.e., if the rain holds off), I may grill out later this evening.

Absent Posting

You've probably been wondering why we haven't posted a weblog entry in awhile ... there are a couple of reasons for this:

1)Since I'm working full-time now (or at least, until the plant goes into scheduled shutdown two weeks from now), I haven't had as much free time to post. Usually, by the time I get home at 3:30, it's time to rest a little bit and decide what to do for dinner (and then make dinner, if dinner involves staying at home vs. eating out).
2)Since the weather's improved a little bit, Lauren and I have started walking regularly, so we're both putting in about 5-6 miles per day; Lauren gets her morning mileage from walking to campus and back, while I'm getting mine from work: I took a pedometer to work one day, and based off of that, Lauren estimates that I'm getting about 3 miles per day there. The other 2 to 3 miles we get from our evening walks to Hy-Vee for dinner or elsewhere in town (we've found that Baskin-Robbins, not to mention $3.22 gas prices, are good motivators for a 2-mile round-trip walk ;-).
3)By the time we're done with that, it's usually about 8:00-ish, or just enough time to wind down, check e-mails, and surf the web for a little bit (in my case, continuing my job search). Given that I have to get up at 5:45 to pick up a coworker and be at work by 7, and Lauren has to be up and around so she can walk to school to teach her 7:30 morning classes, it's usually lights out by 9:30ish for both of us.

Anyhoo, Lauren is done teaching for the week, which is good because she's developed a case of laryngitis. Hopefully, she'll recover by Monday for her classes. In the meantime, this gives her the opportunity to rest and continue exploring the world of "image macros" on the web: otherwise known as LOL cats, these are usually Internet memes involving Photoshopped (and funny) captions onto pictures of disgustingly cute cats:

Examples abound here at: http://www.icanhascheezburger.com

Speaking of recovering, I've belatedly discovered (with Woodgie's help), that I seem to have developed (or have developed over the last few years) a case of sleep apnea, which would account for a few things:

1)My near-legendary inability to get up in the mornings, especially in wintertime.
2)Why my snoring seems to have gone from very mild to very loud (annoying Woodgie to no end and, despite my use of Breathe Right strips, almost causing her to sleep on the couch).
3)Why I seemed to be unable to have or rarely remember dreams ... this is probably because I've been unable to hit REM sleep long enough to have them.

Because of this, Woodgie has been asking (no, too mild ... demanding is more like it) that I start sleeping on my side, which seems to alleviate the symptoms, but causes me some mild discomfort as I try to position pillows "just so". Also, during the first couple of nights of sleeping on my side, I had dreams (and remembered them) for 3 nights in a row ... something that I have never done before.

Anyhoo ... that's the week so far; if Woodgie is up to it by then, this weekend should see us road-tripping up to Bedford, IA for their annual Iris Days festival on Saturday.

Cheshirekitty speaks: My week of gardening

I don't write in here often, because Richard is far better than I am at documenting day-to-day reality here in the Cozy Kittys' Household. But it's my week off between semesters, and it's drizzling outside -- which curtails my usual May activity of starting up the gardens.

I must admit, I think I am hyperactive. Literally -- ADHD, heavy on the H, light on the ADD. Also known as "predominantly hyperactive type ADHD". I prefer to think of it as "neurodiversity". I've never been formally diagnosed, but have been informally diagnosed by everyone who knows me. I think I get it from my dad -- he can't sit still, and has to be doing something else -- even reading -- at the same time he watches TV.

I can't really sit still either, until I get tired enough that I fall over. So my "vacation" has consisted of the following:

1) Fixing the watercourse/pond. The watercourse was leaking water badly -- it would bleed itself dry overnight, which is not good for water plants or fishies. I discovered that natural ground shifting had created a gap between the watercourse liner and the pond liner, which allowed water to leak under the pond liner. In addition, upon reading how to create a watercourse (which, I admit, I should have done BEFORE installing the original watercourse last summer), I realized that I should have sealed seams. So Richard and I cut a patch to join the now-skewed elements of the pond, and sealed seams with EPDM tape, black caulk, and waterfall foam. The watercourse is now up and running, and has lost no volume in two days.

2) Planting the watercourse. The whole reason I wanted a watercourse, other than to make the small deep pond and shallow overflow look less like a well, was to provide running water to plant watercress and Vietnamese coriander, two plants which require a lot of fresh water. I have not received my Vietnamese coriander yet (it's on order from Richters.com, I believe) but watercress seeds have been planted.

3) Enlarged the borders of the moon garden by about 18 inches on each side. I am learning, through my trial-and-error garden design experiments, that I think too small in the initial project stage. Hence the too-small pond, the too-small front border, and the too-small moon garden.
I also planted jasmine tobacco and woodland tobacco (plantlets and seeds), night phlox (seeds), evening-scented stock (seeds), moonflower (seeds) and white dame's rocket (seeds). I will also get a couple of white datura plants and a John F. Kennedy rose to complete the picture, and maybe some fuzzy foliage from "Helen Von Stein" stachys. These plants join the perennial "David" phlox and autumn clematis already there. If you're getting the impression that all in this garden is white and most of it smells good, that's the purpose of a moon garden.

4) Planting beans, cukes, and nasturtiums in the raised beds. The beans this year are Hunan winged bean for Asian cooking, and two runner beans for green beans, shell beans, and edible flowers -- "Scarlet runner" and "Sunset". The cuke this year -- I am picky about cukes, and don't feel secure enough to grow Asian or European cukes yet -- is "Sweetest Yet". I'm skeptical; we shall see. Nasturtiums (happy salad greens and edible flowers) are "Dwarf Jewel Mix", "Whirlybird Mahogany", and "Peach Melba". I ran out of nasturtium seeds before doing the center bed, which still needs to have a debris burn before planting out with squash and melons.

5) Planting herbs. Joining the mints, oregano, and edible flowers in the new herb bed is midget savory, borage, golden feverfew, dill, and rosemary. No picture links here because herbs aren't as exciting to look at.

6) Weeding. Enough said.

7) Starting production on two Anglican rosaries. I figured another new hobby was needed to watch TV by.

8) Assorted school paperwork including setting up course sites and writing up a human subjects form for some new research.


And this was my week off. That's okay, it's only Thursday, and I've run out of stuff to do. Naptime!

Graduation

This weekend's been quite busy for both of us, between graduation, mowing, and cleaning the house.

Oh yeah ... and recovering from my first day on the job. I may not have been the fastest trainee, but I managed to make it through the shift. Some thoughts on that:

Manufacturing work is like being inside a casino: there are no clocks in the manufacturing area, which means you tend to lose track of time. The shift went from 7 until 3, with a morning break and a lunch break, but it felt longer.

Of course, when you spend several hours packing boxes, loading double AA batteries into blister packs, or loading the blister packs into the rotary turntable to be sealed, it does wear on you.

Lauren got to do something special, however: she carried the banner for her college and led the undergraduates into the arena for graduation:

Work

Today was my first experience with manufacturing work: a local temp firm held a cattle call for the local Energizer battery factory, and I made the cut to start tomorrow morning on 1st shift. Yes, I'm glad, because it's work, even though it's part-time and temporary (in other words, it will last as long as the work is there). I do hope to find something better for the long-term, and I am still looking, but at least the job drought is broken.

My initial impressions:

1)Discomfort: We stood outside in the cold, damp, and drizzly air and froze outside the employee entrance to the plant for about 20 minutes, because they started the orientation 12 minutes late.
2)Fear: like it or not, it's manufacturing work, and despite the facility's near-perfect safety record, there are a lot of ways to get hurt there. And there's a little bit of fear of failure, too: I don't want to fail, but I've never done manufacturing work before; I'll do the best I can with it, but I'm not sure how well I'll do.

It is a bit of a rude shock going from white-collar down to blue, and Lauren is sorry that I have to take work that isn't that desirable. But at this point, we don't have much of a choice: starting this month, it's costing us an extra $600.00 a month to put me on Lauren's health insurance. While it's very good coverage, the expense is really eating a chunk out of our monthly finances for now, and anything that can help toward that is welcome. Still, it's not the ideal job, and because it's temp work, it probably pays nowhere near what I'm used to making.

But at least it's something until something better comes along.

Moving Forward

Well, it's been a busy, productive, disappointing, unnerving, but overall good week so far, for various reasons:

1)Busy - Lauren had her annual review at work, and it went really really well. There are a few things that suggest they are grooming her for something bigger and better, so that's a good sign.
2)Productive - we both got our taxes in. I'm going to get a small refund (no small feat given how much I paid in tax and withholding), and Lauren will likely get an adjustment, because she forgot to file for the energy efficiency credit. That will get back most of what she paid in Federal this year.
3)Disappointing - because I didn't get the job I interviewed for earlier this month. Nothing wrong with me as a candidate; in fact, the interviewers commented that I interviewed well and would be a good fit for their company. However, the fact that I would have to commute down to KC did factor into their decision. It's a little frustrating; the local job market (poor as it is) is taken up by college students from campus, and for those jobs that I've applied for, I think I'm being considered too overqualified for them. I just have to keep looking.
4)Unnerving - because the events at Virginia Tech made me think about something that ordinarily no one should think about (i.e., the safety of your spouse). Granted, something like that probably would never happen here in Maryville: the staff at Northwest are well-trained and prepared, and the students (at least those I've met) are all good people. But still, it raised a worry that for me that I hadn't dealt with since working in a high school following Columbine: the tendency that you take the safety of your workplace (or your wife's workplace) for granted, and seeing events like that play out on a college campus are a little unsettling. And yes, my sympathies and prayers go out to the families of those killed or injured. No one should have to go through that kind of tragedy. Ever.

Taxing Weekend

Quick note: This weekend's been a bit busy for both of us. Thankfully, it didn't rain or snow as Weather Channel had forecasted, so Lauren and I were finally able to get outside and start gardening and mulching.

I'm still waiting to hear back on the interviews, and in the meantime, we're both filing our taxes and sweating out how much we both owe. We'll make it until Lauren gets paid again, but it's going to be a near thing to the end of the month.

Wedding Pics Now Posted

The first batch of pics from our wedding are now online. To reach them, simply find our online photo album here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/steffens.richard/WeddingPics

We're not done resizing and posting yet; I hope to get to that later this evening.

Food Notes: Bubba's and Ali's Bakery

Just a couple of in-town notes on current/ongoing favorites:

1)Bubba's, the award-winning BBQ restaurant, is now offering $9.00 buffet-style orders on Sundays ... since the place isn't big enough to hold a full buffet line, what this means is that for $9.00, any item on the menu board (assuming it's available) is available for multiple trips. We like it because it allows us to try out items that we don't order that much (such as the rib tips appetizer).

2)Lauren's Egyptian baker friend Ali, who formerly had a small place in Burlington Junction, has now opened a small bakery at the back of Happy Garden Chinese Restaurant (the small restaurant on Main across from what used to be the Subway). We stopped off this morning for coffee and some of his pastries (apple fritter and filled donut), which were some of the best scratch pastries that we've ever had. Oh, and Ali also does breads as well. Ali's hours, in his words, go like this: "We're open at 6 until about 2. But if I'm here, and someone wants something (for example, later in the afternoon), I'll open".

Wedding Photos

The wedding pictures finally came back, and our photographer did an outstanding job. Lauren has been busy sorting and printing pictures (her coworkers asked to see a small sample of the prints, but our old HP photo printer died, so we had to purchase one). On my part, I've been preparing for and off to a job interview in KC Monday and Tuesday, so that's why they haven't been posted to the weblog yet. We will post the pics as soon as we possibly can, so please bear with us. Thanks!

It's DONE!!!!!

It's finally DONE!!!!! And with no major hitches, Lauren and I are now MARRIED!!!

Can you tell that we're excited??? We're also very tired ... we stayed overnight at the hotel after opening gifts, attended a late dinner at Las Palmas (the Mexican restaurant next to the hotel), and then bade goodbye to the last of our family and friends this morning after breakfast. Then we managed to load our gifts into the car, get home, unload them, and then crash for a few hours of sleep. We both needed it.

We had roughly 76 people at the wedding (we'll wait for the final catering count to be certain), and we had a great weekend making lots of memories with family and friends. The weekend started out great: our bachelor's and bachelorette's parties were combined for a co-ed party over in St. Joe, where we dined at Fuji, the new Japanese steakhouse and teppanyaki place. Afterwards, we went over to Terrible's Casino to see how slowly we could lose the $30.00 limits we'd placed on ourselves. The rest of the weekend ranged from the absurd (our maid of honor gave us a Hallmark soundbite card featuring the "Chicken Dance", so now THAT's stuck in our heads), to the worrisome (at the Student Union, Lauren and I were stuck in the elevator for 5 minutes on our way to the reception ... and no, we DIDN'T push the stop button intentionally ... the poor elevator's brain just hiccuped, that's all), to the thankful: the weather forecast had been for light snow that morning, but it missed us, leaving us with sunny weather for the wedding and partly cloudy for the reception.

The wedding itself went off very smoothly, as well as the reception dinner (kudos to the ARAMARK staff at Northwest for their hospitality), and we thank everyone who participated in the ceremony: Mike Kyle, our minister; Dr. Jeff Loomis, who assisted; our parents and families, who travelled many, many miles to get here; our Best Man, Micah Joy, and our Maid of Honor, Jenny Heitoff; and our readers, Les Savage and Ken Sarno, who drove straight through from Urbana on Friday for the rehearsal.

Thanks also to our musicians: Tony Brown (who can play the piano very well, despite his claims to the contrary), Brent Chappelow (who got the pacing on the Bach pieces just right), Megan Wyant (who graced us with her flute playing), and especially our vocalist, Rachel Ost, who stepped in as a substitute and did an excellent job.

Also due thanks are our friends the McGary's (Frank and Dixie) who helped with the flower arrangements, and also helped us haul gifts from the church to the reception (and then from there, back to the hotel), as well as their sons, Craig and Philip, who served as our ushers. Also, Lauren profusely thanks the "Flower Assembly Group" from Friday morning, which includes the aforementioned Dixie McGary, plus Jenny, Celia Hayhoe, Lauren's Aunt Peggy and Uncle Dean, and Lauren's mom and dad.

And finally, a warm thank you to our friends, who came from places as far away as Blacksburg, VA, and as near as Des Moines, IA, to share the weekend with us.

We don't have many pictures back yet from the weekend. We're sorting through the rehearsal pictures we've gotten back, and we'll have a few more of those up in a couple of days. For now, here's a few we took on Thursday:

The sign at the Comfort Inn welcoming our family and friends:















And here's a quick cameraphone shot of my Best Man, Micah, who kept me sane throughout this weekend (hard to believe it's been 26 years ... count 'em, and we're still friends):
















We'll have more pictures two weeks from now; it will take that long for our photographer to sort through everything and burn all of it to CDs. After that, we'll be posting pics up on the wedding weblog.

Rib Crib, or The Worst BBQ We've Ever Eaten

When we're on the road, Lauren and I have usually made good choices about roadfood (either that, or else we're very lucky in that regard). I think yesterday our luck on that ran out (or at least, ran away from us).

On the way home from her friend Jenny's open house, we had hoped to stop off at Swagat, the Indian restaurant at the Zona Rosa mall complex on Barry Road. We both love that restaurant. Unfortunately, they were closed Sunday, as they were between their lunch buffet and dinner hours.

After grabbing a map of the mall to discover what restaurant choices we had available, we settled on a local Rib Crib, which appears to be an Oklahoma-based chain which is expanding in the Midwest. They had a special for all you can eat Burnt Ends, which we love but we're rarely able to get locally at Bubba's, so we ordered, expecting succulent, slightly crispy, BBQ.

What we got, we were a little embarassed by what we were served. After we walked out the door, I coined the phrase: "Dinty Moore beef BBQ", because that's what we had gotten: it looked like they had used the pre-cut, perfectly square roast beef chunks you normally see on salad bars, barely burned them, and then served them liberally doused with leftover BBQ sauce. The sides were good, especially the coleslaw. But we couldn't finish the meal, because the BBQ itself was the worst we had ever eaten.

We understand that they've won a lot of awards for BBQ in Oklahoma, so we'll reserve judgement on the whole chain, but last night's meal left us very glad that we have our local Bubba's.

Wedding Parking

Hi all,

In a previous post, I mentioned that the church we are having the wedding at does not have very much parking. Since then, we've talked to the manager of the Dollar General store next to the church, and she will let us use the row of parking spots next to the street. This is only 12 more spaces, but it's a little bit more parking. She cautions us to not use the spaces close to the store or close to the rail tressle between the parking lot and the church parking lot, because there will be some truck traffic (trash truck and a shipment truck) loading and unloading that day.

There is also a park nearby that you may be able to park next to; the north side of the park is open to parking; however, parking is prohibited on the remaining 3 sides.

Otherwise, we would suggest trying to car pool from the hotel as much as possible or parking at the campus near the student union and car pooling to the church from there.

And Speaking of Snow ...

The blizzard that was supposed to hit us lightly before moving on to Iowa started this morning at around 8. It's still snowing as of 10:00, but not as hard as it was earlier.

Driving was proving interesting at some intersections. I snapped these after taking Woodgie to work, when visibility had dropped down to a quarter-mile or less. You may not be able to tell from these pics, but by that time, the snow was falling near-horizontally, due to the wind.

Looking East Down Edwards Street















Looking South Down Our Street















Looking South Down Market Street
















EDIT: It's now about 12:30, and it's back to snowing and blowing as hard as it was doing before 10:00.

More Snow, More Snow ...

Just a quick shoutout to my friends up in Iowa. We're supposed to get about only 3-5 inches of snow here (I say only ... it's still a bit of snow), but we're hoping it melts off by the weekend.

However, in the last week, you guys are suffering through the nastiest winter weather the state has had for years (and I should know something about Iowa winters, having lived there the six years previous, including the year the state set the record for longest snow cover on the ground (late October through early May)).

Everyone please drive safe, stay warm, and be very careful, especially if you have power outages ... I'm hoping to see you at our wedding in March.

On a Serious Note: The Millenium Development Goals

Neither one of us are Catholic (although Woodgie used to be one growing up), but we both decided that we would observe Lent in a small way by doing a water/juice fast on Sunday evenings in lieu of dinner, and at the end of Lent, donating the money we would have otherwise spent on meals to a church charity. We thought it would be fitting to do this, in light of both the Episcopal Church and Lutheran Church's support of the UN Millenium Development Goals.

One of the MDGs is "the eradication of extreme poverty and hunger worldwide". While we often think of poverty and hunger as far off events in foreign countries, I'm finding as a food pantry volunteer that often, poverty and hunger are as close as your next-door neighbors or your community.

Personally, I've never experienced extreme poverty or hunger for a prolonged basis, but there have been a few tight moments in my life, especially while growing up. We were a low-income farming family who managed to squeak through every year, but we never felt that we were "poor", and there was always food on the table (although there was one Thanksgiving while I was in graduate school that was pretty bleak due to a lot of bad weather and poor crops). Apart from doing a 20 mile CROP walk fundraiser in middle school, the closest I came to hunger (in the sense of deprivation) was watching "Save the Children" fund-raising appeals on TV, and those were always far away, somewhere overseas, or in Africa. Certainly not close to home.

Both my own past experiences and my current ones have made me realize until we see poverty and hunger up close, that as long as we think of it with mindsets of "it's a far-off problem" and "it can't happen here" and "it's too big a problem to be dealt with", these mindsets intimidate us and blind us to what is needed, both locally and in other countries.

Trust me, the need is there. According to the USDA (http://www.secondharvest.org, 2007):

• In 2005, 35.1 million Americans lived in food insecure (low food security and very low food security) households, 22.7 million adults and 12.4 million children.
• In 2005, 55.6% of food-insecure (low food security or very low food security) households participated in at least one of the three major Federal food assistance programs Food Stamp Program, The National School Lunch Program, and the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children, an increase from 55.2% in 2004.

And that was roughly two years ago.

Rather than watching it from a distance, I now see it every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoon, as families come through who need help. They may be struggling single parent families, or they may be single-income families with kids who have gone a week without groceries, or individuals who simply need help supplementing what they do have. And they are grateful, as we give them what we can give.

Granted, the Millenium Goals are ambitious in their scope, but it can start locally: doing such a small thing such as donating regularly to the local food pantry or to a local branch of Second Harvest, or volunteering time to work at one a few hours a week, or working on a Habitat for Humanity home is something positive. And it is something that can be done here and now.

Snowy Pictures

Okay ... it looks like Google changed something with the Blogger photo upload process, which means I have to go change a firewall setting in order to post. Oy veh ... why couldn't they leave something unbroken?

So, here are some delayed (by a few days) pics of Snowy ... not the snow outside (which we're tired of), but Snowy the kitten:

Testing, Testing ...

Okay ... this is a little frustrating. Google HAD photo uploads working, but now for some reason, even with the cache cleared, the upload function isn't working again. What gives?

This Weekend

In the forecast: more snow! Not as much as they're supposed to get up in Iowa, but another couple of inches ... something tells me that the groundhog made a small mistake this year.

Oh well ... it's a good weekend for staying in, making scratch pizza, scrapbooking (for Woodgie), and playing with the kitties.

Volunteer Work

Just a quick post for now (since I'm typing this right before bed). Today I started volunteer work with the local food pantry ... mostly a couple of hours a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday stocking shelves and helping clients, but also getting to know the other volunteers. It isn't hard work, but it is fulfilling, which is something I need right now.

Nothing Major to Post ... Just a Few Notes

Nothing major to post, so today it's odds and ends day:

Yesterday, we had our second encounter with the "marital-industrial" complex in town, with a student-run bridal show on campus. It wasn't that bad ... plenty of chocolate to go around, and Lauren even won a discount cert for a photography package during one round of door prizes. Unfortunately, it was for the other photographer in attendance, not the one who we had already hired and whose booth was sitting 10 foot away from us. So we politely declined.

This morning, the local vets in town are running discounts through the 28th on spaying and neutering, so we took Snowball into the vet for her shots, declawing, and neutering. We hope that when we get her back tomorrow that she isn't too mad at us.

EDIT: We got her back yesterday morning from the vet, and fortunately, she's still her cuddly, lovable self. Here is a better picture of her:

Valentine's Day

Oops ... before I forget, here's a quick post on Valentine's Day: rather than try to get reservations at A&G, we instead decided that we were going to start a tradition of cooking each other dinner every other year. Since Lauren cooked when I came down last year, it was my turn to cook this year. Sorry, there are no pictures of the meal ... I'm usually the picture taker, and I was too busy cooking it to take any pictures.

The meal itself came out very well, although it turned into a running dinner because we had to cook the Cornish hens a little bit longer than the recipe called for ... no biggie. It just simply meant we were eating dinner while watching the movie Chocolat rather than before.

Soup: I originally planned a curried pumpkin soup, but I changed my mind and used a box of Campbell's Select Gold Roasted Portabella Mushroom soup instead. This is comfort food.

Roasted Cornish Hens: These were done with a marinade of whisky, Splenda, lots of soy sauce, garlic, ginger, and freshly ground pepper, for three to four hours, then baked at 375 for a minimum of 1 hour (not 30 minutes as the recipe called for). Then, for a tasty sauce for the hens, I took a cup of the marinade, added an equal amount of balsamic vinegar, and reduced it down for 2 minutes.

Asian Spinach: to complement the Cornish Hens, I did a pretty simple stir-fry of spinach with toasted sesame seeds, minced garlic, soy sauce, and a bit of Splenda to balance the soy sauce off ... sort of a continuation of a theme.

Rice with Carrots, Lemon, and Mint: long-grain rice with a mirepoix of minced carrots, scallions, and the juice and a small amount of zest from one lemon.

Dessert: Woodgie had bought a small set of Chinese New Year specialty chocolates (the Lapsang Suchoung and dark chocolate ones were sublime). We had these with a chocolate-infused tea from the same company.

When done, she proclaimed it one of the best meals she has had.

High and Dry

Another interesting morning here in Maryville: woke up this morning to NO WATER in the house. Our city water department thinks that our meter froze: no surprise, given temps dropped down to -4 here overnight (before wind chill). Hopefully, someone will be out before noon to have it looked at.

I stopped off at Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of gallons in the meantime, but in the meantime, it's shaping up to be one of those mornings. Sigh.

EDIT: We got water service back at about 11:30, although we're now having to keep one faucet at a drip/trickle to avoid a repeat of the problem. Oh well.

Test Post Following the Conversion

Hi all ... just a test post after converting to the "new" Blogger system, which hasn't impressed me so far (let's see ... can't post pictures due to a glitch, can't edit and repost an existing post due to another glitch). As much as I like the new features, the new system is batting 0 for 2 right now.

Edit: that's fixed. Turns out that in order for the "new" Blogger to work, you have to clean out the old Blogger cookies. Thirty seconds later, and I'm able to post pictures and edit and repost existing posts.

And now I can play with the tags ...

The 100th Post: Some Cozy Kitties

Welcome to the 100th post for the Cozy Kitty's Weblog ... so it's only fair to devote this entry to ... ahem, some cozy kitties:

First up, some pictures of Stinkerbelle and Opie, plus my Woodgie:














Another of Opie with Woodgie:














A close-up of Stinkerbelle:














And now, the introduction to the newest member of the menagerie, who arrived late yesterday evening: Snowball!!! (Yes, we know she's a black kitten ... we didn't name her, but we do think the name is ironically appropriate). She's 3 months old, and we got her from one of Lauren's students, whose boyfriend discovered he had one too many kittens and needed a new home for her, so when they found out that we had lost Kitty, they offered her to us.















So far, she's been a doll; for now, we're keeping her in the bedroom, to give both her and us time to acclimate to having a new kitten in the house. Right now, she's having fun exploring the nooks and crannies of her new home and having her first meal. Later this morning, I'm going to re-introduce her to the litter box and see if she can get comfortable with the other two cats.

And now, to borrow a very old Internet meme:

Cheshirekitty speaks: A tribute to Kitty

Here is a picture of Kitty in better days. You may or may not be able to notice this, but Kitty was an odd-eyed white, with one blue and one gold-green eye.

I adopted Kitty as a tw0-year-old cat at the Otsego County (New York) Humane Society several years ago. Or perhaps she adopted me. She was the only cat at the shelter that not only liked petting, but invited it by standing up and grabbing my hand.

Kitty was the consummate "cuddleslut". She lived to be petted. If two people in the room were simultaneously petting her, she would look reproachfully at the third, as if to say, "Why aren't YOU petting me?" She spent some time outdoors when she was younger, mostly because she felt her social options were too limited as an indoor cat. When I lived in upstate NY, she was known to the whole neighborhood as "the white cat", and the little girls in the neighborhood would come to my yard to visit her.

Wherever she was in the yard, she would stroll to meet anyone who came to visit. She had no fear, once daring even to try to break up a catfight between two neighboring cats (to no avail).

Later in life, she became much more mellow, and in her last year of life had chosen to remain indoors. However, if any other cat in the house was getting attention, she would stroll over with her "Pet ME, pet ME" attitude.

Kitty is already sorely missed.

Kitty: Now at the Rainbow Bridge

Today's been a long day: earlier this morning at 5:00, we woke to the distressed yowls of Kitty, our 12 year old geriatric cat (the odd-eyed white), who with the exception of minor dental problems (due to her being an outdoor cat for quite awhile), had been quite healthy.

We brought Kitty into the bedroom and put her on a towel in a small Sterlite tub, so we could take turns calming her down and keeping her warm (we'd noticed that she had lost function and circulation in her back legs), while we put in a fast call to the vet. Maryville is too small a town to have an emergency or on-call vet service, but in this case, it wouldn't have helped, as the damage had already been done before we got to her.

We had thought that Kitty had a stroke, which was partially correct: as best as the vet could tell, after the morning litter, she developed an aortic blood clot, resulting in a iliac or "saddleback" thrombosis , a form of aortic embolism which lodged in her femur or femoral artery, leaving her hindquarters paralyzed due to circulatory failure. It was also causing her significant gastrointestinal distress, and, although we didn't know it at the time, the condition also apparently causes a cat great pain, due to the circulatory cutoff and damage to nerve tissue.

Although there are recorded cases of cats surviving an occurrance, if the diagnosis and surgery to remove the clot is immediate, it appears that most (90 percent) of cats ultimately have a second episode, and the prognosis for full recovery is poor.

As a long-time cat owner, Lauren had already prepared for what was to come, due to the advanced age of both Kitty and Opie, but it was a new experience for me, as my family had never had pets growing up. After the diagnosis, we both knew that prolonging Kitty's life was out of the question, so by 8:30, the vet was adminstering an anesthetic to put her to sleep, followed by a shot to euthanize her.

We're not sure yet if we're going to get another cat ... we're going to watch our remaining cats to see how well they will adjust, but I'm guessing that we'll probably be looking for one down the road. We had already planned to put in a small "cat" themed garden, with pussywillows and other "feline" themed plants and decorations, but now we will add a small memorial stone for Kitty as well.

As for where Kitty is now, I'm not sure if I fully believe in the Rainbow Bridge, but it is a comforting thought to hope that she is now running through a sunny meadow with hills of catnip, accompanied by other pets waiting for their loved ones.

Day 2 of Just a Little Wobbly ...

Today is day two ... Cheshirewoodgie (Lauren) thought she had avoided the worst of the norovirus and went to work: no such luck for her. I went to campus to pick her up early, and now she's home and in bed recuperating while I've changed places; as she nursemaided me on Sunday, I'm now nursemaiding her as she overcomes the worst of it.

This has given me some time to return to the other topic I've addressed as of late: trying to answer the self-posed question: "who am I as a person without a job to define me?"

To help me answer that question, I turned to my favorite sci-fi series: the 5-year epic Babylon 5. The two alien races that are the antagonists, the Vorlons and the Shadows, have competing questions that form what the show is about:

From Wikipedia:

"The central theme in Babylon 5 is the conflict between order and chaos and the people caught in between.

"The Vorlons represent an authoritarian philosophy: you will do what we tell you to, because we tell you to do it. The Vorlon Question 'who are you?' focuses on the identity as the motivator over personal goals." (Put simply, when you lose the focus on "what you want", you are able to focus more on "what is the good for the whole" Or at least, you should be able to.)

On the other hand: "The Shadows represent anarchy. Their belief is that by creating conflict, a stronger generation is born — 'survival of the fittest'. The question they pose is "what do you want?" They place desire and ambition before everything else, encouraging conflict between other groups, who choose to serve their own glory or profit. Selfishness is often the turning point of a character from light to darkness, and selflessness denotes a change in the reverse."

According to the show's creator, J. Michael Straczynski, the order in which you answer these questions can make you ... or break you:

"It's not that there's a *correct* answer, but that there's an *informed* answer. If you decide what you want, before you know who you are, you're likely to get something that will destroy you; if you know who you are, you can then ask for something that will be of greater use to you."

So what is my "informed answer"? Who am I without a job to define me? The answer to that lies in a third question asked in the series:

"Lorien (the oldest living being in the B5 galaxy and older than the other two races described above), asks the series hero, John Sheridan, this alternative question: 'Why are you here?'"

Unfortunately, as I was growing up, that question was always answered by someone else, and never by me:

For my Dad, it was always: "you're here because we wanted a son to take over the family farm, just as I did", even if I wasn't meant to be a farmer and didn't want to survive at near-poverty levels. I did not want to be a farmer, where I was at the mercy of the weather and crop prices. Being the eldest, his responsibility was to the family, regardless, and he made his choices. But I did not want to be a farmer just because HE was.

For my Mom, it was always: "you're here because your father wanted a son, even though I had difficulties giving birth to you". She always held the guilt held over my head as I grew up, making me wish that my birth had been a bit easier for her.

It's rather hard to ask yourself "why are you here?" when you've already got two unhealthy answers already confronting you, don't you think?

So now I've reached a point where I have to start asking myself that question, because one of the old definitions of myself, "I am a very good technical writer" no longer applies anymore.

So "why am I here?"

On a practical level, I'm here in Maryville because it got me closer to my fiancee, let us live together, develop my housekeeping skills, and consolidate finances until I can find a job. I'm also apparently here to help our pastor learn some computer skills, if he can find the time to sit down with me to do this. I'm also apparently here to sing ... though in what capacity, I'm still learning.

I'm also here to write: this blog is an example of that, and my fiancee is encouraging me to take the time to develop some writing ideas.

Mainly, I think I'm supposed to start grappling with some of my baggage: my past struggles with my learning differences, and the work stress dealing with an emotionally unhealthy workplace, which included workplace harassment and rumor-milling that sprang from the unchecked immaturity, untrustworthiness, and territoriality of some of my ex-coworkers (not the ones I stay in contact with, I should point out).

For the last, I apologize: I once promised that I would not speak ill of my fellow coworkers, and for the sake of the company for which I once worked, that is as much as I will say about the situation.

I'm also here to learn what else I can do well, since my chosen profession is in decline: the job market for technical writers is thin at best, and I'm geographically challenged since my fiancee has tenure and is unable to move.

On an existential level, I'm here to learn to take care of myself better, to forgive myself for having weaknesses in the form of my learning differences, to accept that perhaps there is a reason God created me with them, and to forgive God for doing this. As a human being, that is the best I can do.

It may not be a complete answer to the question ... but it's a start.

Just a Little Wobbly ...

Very quick post: today finds both Cheshirekitty and myself home in bed (we know what you're thinking and it's NOT that).

No, we're both home sick ... I seem to have picked up a norovirus from somewhere on Saturday, which left me flat on my back for most of Sunday, and I think I've given a mild version of it to Cheshirekitty, who is queasy but not as in bad a shape as I was ... which is why we're both in bed, reading, blogging, and recuperating this morning, subsisting on sports drink and water and a bare minimum amount of breakfast.

It's just as well ... with another five inches of snow on the ground here, we're enjoying the winter wonderland from indoors, as well as the comforting crackle from our WoodWick candle.

Cheshirekitty speaks: Scrapbooking the courtship process

Today and tonight I have been working on a scrapbook/storybook that commemorates (sp?) our courtship, engagement, wedding planning, and wedding. I figured if I was going to have a wedding album, I wasn't going to have a photo album only, because pictures DON'T tell a thousand words, especially the typical professional wedding portraiture. So this is a wedding album that includes things like:

* we met on Match.com and talked by computer for a while
* my family flipped over him the first time they met him
* we started hinting to each other about proposing on the same day
* we had to go through a lengthy pastoral counseling because I was previously married
* we want a special, not-too-big, and not-too-expensive wedding.

Richard is contributing his voice to the album, which will eventually have the wedding pictures, guests' signatures, stories, etc.

Richard and I won't have children to pass it on to (by choice as well as by medical prudence, given my age), but I have discovered that one can pass things on without having children to pass them to. My Aunt Peggy, who never had a daughter, has supplied me with the "something old" in my wedding wardrobe -- a handkerchief from her recently deceased friend Evelyn, which Evelyn carried in her wedding almost 71 years ago. I am absolutely thrilled with this!

At Least We Don't Have This To Deal With ...

We were reading the other day about a New Orleans couple who seemed to have an even more interesting wedding dilemma than the usual:

Wedding Plans Disrupted By Saints Playoff Game

Who Am I? (pt.1)

According to the cats, I'm

• "He Who Scritches Their Ears"
• "He Who Should Pet Me"
• "He Who Fills the Water and Food Dishes"

and ...


wait for it ...

• "He Who Cleans the Litter Box".

Dealing With Shame

As I look back on the last year's worth of posts, I realized that in discussing life in Maryville(tm) and wedding planning, I've haven't really written anything self-reflective, because I've been too busy trying to find a job.

And I realized (after dealing with the stress of not getting another job this last week), that as the job search has gone on, just how hard it is to be an unemployed male, and how I've had to go back and do some self-work to deal with the shame from that.

I must admit how hard it is for me to be unemployed. For six years, I was a technical writer, working for a company with a good reputation as a workplace, getting raises, and working toward a promotion. I was SOMEONE. A professional, with the benefits, perks, and rights thereof. And someone who could be counted on to deliver on-time (or early), or come up with the right answer or the goods when needed.

But now, due to budget cuts because my former company's income dumped due to the worsening economy and jobless recovery following 9/11, I'm unemployed. My daily routine now consists of taking my fiancee to work, heading home, jumping online, checking job websites, submitting resumes if I find anything promising (or even if not), and, while sitting home alone at the laptop, coming to terms with my limitations and self-definitions. I went from productive ... to disposable.

Those of you who know me may know me as quiet. A little bit of an introvert. A geek. A little hard to get to know. There's are reasons for that.

I'll admit that my communication skills are good. Not great, but good. You could even say that they're pretty good, if you factor in that I have had very bad allergies ... it's a bad trade-off when, even if you're on allergy meds, you're having to choose between breathing and speaking. (Kudos to an unnamed program manager at my last job who tried to give me well-meaning advice about public speaking and breathing, but he couldn't seem to grasp that I was dealing with severe allergies and he also couldn't understand that there is a difference between one's speaking voice and singing voice. Taking in enough air to project a good speaking voice only works IF you have the ability to take enough air in to begin with ;-).

You also have to factor in that growing up, I had to have speech therapy to correct some pronounciation issues. And you also need to factor in the possibility (which I haven't been tested for but hope to test for in the near future), that I may have a learning difference or two ... maybe a mild form of ADD, maybe an encoding problem such as dysnomia that mimics ADD.

Either way, it's clear that I ended up with a few stumbling blocks toward having a professional career, but I still managed to have one for six years on the basis of my writing skills and my problem-solving ability. That, I could do well. And I tried my best to develop what speaking ability I did have. You might be surprised to know that I was in Toastmasters for several years, and achieved my CTM (basic level), and ATM-B (advanced), certifications. To do that, you had to have done a minimum of 22 speeches and done them very well.

But I digress. I was talking about shame. And its corollary brother, guilt.

The author of the book Nickel and Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich, recently wrote a follow-up book called Bait and Switch about the struggles of middle-class unemployment. On her blog, she writes a scathing commentary about shame and unemployment, which illustrates my dilemma:

"Something similar goes on in the case of the laid off and unemployed, thanks to the prevailing Calvinist form of Protestantism, according to which productivity and employment are the source of one’s identity as well as one’s income. Not working? Then what are you? And to put the Calvinist message in crude theological terms: go to hell."

Woodgie and I have talked a bit about gender roles and jobs (and she's well equipped to do so, given that her field is family economics and she's written journal articles and papers on various aspects of the subject), and the hardest part for me hasn't been the income loss (although part of me does feel a little guilty for not being able to contribute to the household monitarily as much as I'd like). Instead, the hard part has been the loss of identity.

There's a burden that comes with being male. The dominant culture perception is that the male is the main economic provider of the household, and if you aren't working or aren't able to readily find a job, it's because you aren't trying, or looking hard enough, or you aren't doing the right things to make you presentable for employers. And in the meantime, you aren't being productive, let alone useful, and you're a bad person, bad husband, bad provider, bad whatever, simply because of that.

Add in the perception of failure - the feeling that if I had planned better, or worked harder, or been able to do something beyond my physical limitations, I might still be employed or have already found another job - and it's a hard burden to overcome.

I'm thankful that Woodgie doesn't subscribe to the dominant culture paradigm ... in other words, she thinks it's great that I'm a house husband, and that her house is cleaner than it has been in ages, and that I contribute to the household chores and cooking as I can.

But now I'm left with the open question: who am I? Or more specifically, who am I without the artificial definition imposed by a job?

I'll touch more on that in the next entry.

New Wedding Blog

In lieu of setting up one of those absurd wedding websites that charge a monthly or yearly subscription fee, we've set up a wedding-specific weblog for our upcoming wedding.

We hope to use the site for pictures and for updates leading up to the wedding. Ultimately, we'll hope to have pictures from the wedding itself.

Our Wedding Blog

New Year's Resolutions

Oh yeah ... before anyone asks, here are our New Years' Resolutions:

Mine:

Lose 5 pounds.

Lauren's:

Walk 3 miles a day (or the equivalent workout thereof).

Something tells me that both of our resolutions will be workable ... I'll probably lose those 5 pounds keeping up with her on her walks.

More Christmas Pics

Some more Christmas pics from the holidays:

Christmas Eve















Christmas Day














The Christmas Table














Randy and Lisa (Lauren's sister and brother in law)














Woodgie Wearing a ???














Woodgie Getting a Gift














Rachel (one of Lauren's nieces) and John (Lauren's Dad)














Making Springerle














Here's Woodgie showing off a fresh batch just prior to baking.















Springerle Before Baking














Christmas Decorations, Washington Park, Ottawa, IL

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year!!!

We stayed at home to ring in the new year. With snow on the ground, the roads mushing over, and the temps dropping outside, we decided to ring in the New Year quietly. With the kitties in attendance, we watched a bit of Emeril Live and later worked our way through a couple of episodes of Crusade until right before New Year's local time. Bowing to Woodgie's Quaker tradition, we observed 15 minutes of silence leading into the New Year ... a time for prayers, thoughts, observations, and hopes that the New Year will bring us a better year. God knows, after the year I've had, I could use some positive breaks, and a chance to start over.

Returning to the usual (for most) New Year's Eve tradition, after that, we toasted the New Year with a kiss (awww!), and a bottle of August Hill's Illinois Muscato, one of their new, very sweet, low-alcohol dessert wines. For luck (since Woodgie isn't much of a fan of black-eyed peas), we sampled some pickled herring to accompany the other snacks.

This morning finds us watching the Tournament of Roses parade ... watching it whenever I can is one tradition from childhood that I won't stint on. Of course, this year, we're watching it for the Star Wars special event during the parade. Only true geeks such as ourselves would watch a parade simply to see two floats filled with Star Wars characters and the Grambling marching band dressed as Imperials while playing music from the movies.

We'll probably call around to our families (or vice-versa) sometime today. In one case, I'll have to sneak calls in before the Rose Bowl game.

Also today, Woodgie introduced a new idea to me: to have a productive year, on New Year's Day you should do something work-related but not too much like work, so I read an article about freelancing as a technical writer.

Counting Blessings at the End of the Year

It's time for the end of year post, where we count our blessings ... despite the hardships of the year (losing my job earlier in the year, the stress of a move), there are many:

1. That both Lauren and I are still alive and unharmed to celebrate the New Year, given the car wreck after Thanksgiving that totalled our previous car, and that our insurance came through quickly enough to snag a new one off the lot ... and a thank you to the unknown person who had originally ordered the car, but refused it when she found out that they weren't including a full-sized spare tire with it! Now if State Farm could come up with the reimbursement for the car rental ....
2. That we're in good health. Mine has much improved after leaving an unhealthy and stressful (in every sense of the word) job situation, and Lauren, at least, has been spared the possibility of having gallbladder surgery for another year.
3. That we're both as much in love with each other as ever, and everything is on track for our wedding in March.
4. That we have the continued blessing of friends and extended family, both mine from Des Moines and from years past, and Lauren's from various places (Urbana-Champaign and here in Maryville), who have all enriched our lives in various ways. What makes it amazing is that several of them (at least 3, at last count), are also getting married sometime next year as well (and in one case, the wedding is directly attributable to me, because I introduced them last year).
5. For the blessing of our kitties, who continue to remind us that we need playtime in our lives: for Opie, who (apparently) has kitty Alzheimers and can't quite find the litter box anymore, but can still find the food dish and our laps; for Kitty, who has made the transition to indoor cat quite well (except for the occasional hairball chucking); and even for Stinky, who has finally started to grow a bit and still gives us headaches in going into places and on top of things she shouldn't.
6. For the guidance and blessing of our minister, Mike Kyle, who shepherded us through the pastoral pre-wedding counseling process, and our diocese bishop, who pronounced his blessing on our future wedding.
7. For the blessing of a decent winter so far; although it's been cold, apart from a dusting or two, we haven't had any snow this year, but we have had enough rain to keep the lawn in decent shape. EDIT: I spoke too soon. The next day after I wrote this, we've gotten two inches of snow just in time for New Year's Day. Go figure ;-).

I dare say we've been quite blessed this year ... here's hoping it continues next year as well.

Happy New Year everyone!